Just in case you haven't noticed, I have not updated the blog all summer...so here is the update.
The Lord has really been teaching us a lot this summer. It has not been easy, but it has been a good time. Carey and I, with a group of people from our ministry at church under the leadership of our minister, read "Absolute Surrender" by Andrew Murray, "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "The Pursuit of Holiness" by Jerry Bridges, and are about to start reading "The Complete Book of Discipleship" by Bill Hull.
First, if you haven't read these books, you need to. They are not easy books to get through at first because our flesh rises up and doesn't want to read them. At least for me it did. "Absolute Surrender" is now added to the list of books I must read every year along with "The Pursuit of Holiness." I have said many times that my life is in God's hands and I am living for Him. While reading this book, I realized that I was trying so hard to live for God that I was getting worn out. Because "I" was the problem. I never realized how prideful and selfish that I am until the Lord started revealing it to me in different areas of my life. Jesus is our example of how we are supposed to live and He surrendered Himself completely to the Father, even to the cross, so why do we feel we don't need to do the same? Because we don't want to! We don't want to be told we need to be nothing so Christ can be ALL because of our pride. But why would we want to live in our flesh which leads to death? Would you rather have death or life? Life is in Jesus after we deny ourselves and take up our cross to follow Him. So why do so many of us want to stay stuck in the flesh and on the side of death? Sounds silly, right? But yet so many are okay with staying there!
A verse that has been on our hearts for the summer is when God says to "Be holy because I am holy." We tend to quickly glance over this verse if not ignore it all together. But this is a command from God that we are to live holy lives. Can we truly live holy lives? Paul said that it was no longer him who lived, but Christ who lived within him. Was Christ not holy? If the Holy Spirit is within us then we should desire to live a holy life. Our sins should grieve us because they grieve the heart of God. Instead of trying to justify our sins and make excuses for them, we should repent and be grieved over them. In our pride and selfishness we tend to believe that this is about us. This is not about us people! This is about God. We are here to glorify Him, not ourselves. As soon as this became apparent to me, my perspective on everything changed. I definitely do not have it all together because the Lord is still working in my life and showing me things.
I have seen the Lord provide a job for me in a teaching position I did not apply for and then led me to another job that was not listed at the time. I applied for a fourth grade position, interviewed for fifth grade, got hired to teach fifth grade, and then was moved to third grade. It is very evident in the whole situation that the whole thing was dictated by Him and through Him. There are many people trying to get a job in education here in Wake County and it seems near impossible to get a job here. But the Lord provided one for me. It amazes me still how He works and how He takes care of me. Carey and I are continually being provided for, even in the little things. We are very thankful and blessed for how the Lord has provided and how He is working in our lives.
